THE VENERABLE AND NO NONSENSE JUDGE ROSS GLIDES INTO THE COURTROOM. HE PEERS OUT OVER HIS PODIUM AT HIS NEXT CASE AND TAKES HIS SEAT AFTER SITTING THE REST OF THE COURT. AT THE PLAINTIFFS' PODIUM STANDS A 23 YEAR OLD MAN DOING HIS BEST TO LOOK OLDER AND APPEAR MARRIED TO HIS WIFE WHO HE HAS JUST DISCOVERED IS A "PSYCHIC MEDIUM" WHEN SHE'S NOT AUDITIONING FOR COURTROOM DRAMAS. SWEAT PERMEATES THROUGH THE PLAINTIFFS' SHIRT AS HE PREPARES TO SPEAK.
Me: Your honor, my wife and I had just moved into our dream house. The previous owner took us around for a tour and shared all the great memories she had in the house, we thought we were getting a great deal. Three weeks into the move however we began to notice a smell. We assumed we must have had an issue with our plumbing, but the plumber assured us that there was nothing wrong. He "did" however mention that he could hear a "squeeking" coming from the walls.
Judge Ross: Excuse me, did you say "Squeeking"?
Me: Yes your honor, you see, what our previous owner did not tell us was that she was a guinea pig breeder. Apparently when she moved out, she left behind some of her "precious little friends" and they found their way into our walls.
Judge Ross: Oh that's just nasty!
>CUE AUDIENCE LAUGHTER<
Me: It is your honor. Anyways...
Judge Ross: Guinea Pigs!? Nasty!
>MORE LAUGHTER<
Me: ...Right, yeah it's disgusting... So anyways we are here today to sue Miss Michaels, the previous owner, for $8,300...
INT. COURTROOM. SAME DAY
JUDGE ROSS GROWS EVER EXCITED AND WEARY AND DISGUSTED AS HE LISTENS TO THE TALE OF THE GUINEA PIG INFESTED WALLS. IN THE END HOWEVER HE RULES IN FAVOR OF THE DEFENDANT AFTER DELIVERING WHAT HE MUST HAVE THOUGHT WAS HIS EMMY AWARD WINNING "BRO-OUT MOMENT" WITH THE PLAINTIFF, OFFERING HIS CONDOLENCES BUT STICKING TO HIS "TOUGH LOVE" MANTRA BECAUSE THE PLAINTIFFS NEGATED A HOME INSPECTION. BOGUS, THAT WASN'T IN THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT. A BIT OF JUDGE ROSS' CREATIVE FLAIR THAT HE PITCHED TO THE PRODUCERS MOMENTS BEFORE. THE BASTARD.
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| Preparing to 'throw the book' at me |
So we lost.
But it was the greatest $50 I have ever made.
Allow me to back-track a bit and explain how I got to "the stand" in the first place.
I stumbled upon an audition (on Craigslist no less) to be an EXTRA (sit in the audience) on America's Court with Judge Ross. I was psyched. I thought "hey, this will be great!" Crazy people coming in and suing each other right before my eyes. So I went to the audition, the attire called for 'business professional' so I grabbed whatever I could find and drove out to the studio, there on the street was a huge line of what appeared to be lawyers. My day had just begun. These people were, of course, background actors and O. M. G! they are the craziest bunch of carnival folk LA has to offer. Think Crazy American Idol Contestants that you can't get rid of after just one try-out. These people are serious about their craft.
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| Walking into the Studio with the other Judge Ross hopefuls |
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| Circle of people for their 'on the spot' auditions |
I soon joined such a circle and, after hearing a brief description of the case, launched into a plea about how my wife and I were wronged by this woman and her guinea pigs. The next thing I knew, I was filling out paperwork alongside my "wife"; a late 20's-early 30's New Yorker who spends her days as a psychic medium, she even offered me a free spiritual healing, I told her I was feeling ok for the time-being but would save her offer for a rainy day, the other was a "Late 40's - Early 50's white female from Florida who spends her days in a "Positive Pop-Rock Band called 'Saint Tone'".
They were great.
Two days later...History was made. The producers told us that the show will appear on their website in the next 6-8 weeks, so you'll just have to sit tight and be patient.
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In Anticipation for my new-found-fame (in courtroom circles at least) I sought out a group of Minnesotans living in the LA area to start building my entourage. I was directed to a facebook group called 'Minneangeles' which seemed to be the answer to my search. Once a month, a group of native Minnesotans who now work in LA get together to bowl. I threw on my Chris Kluwe Vikings jersey and Steph and I hopped in the car and headed to Korea town to hit the lanes with Mid-West peeps. We had a blast! (it felt good to use that expression, apparently a dead giveaway that you are from MN).
Each person throws in $2, You and partner (chosen at random) bowl for spares and strikes to try to build the best 5 card poker hand. Draw 2 cards if you get a strike, 1 card for a Spare, only 5 cards can remain in your hand. At the end of the game, the team with the best poker hand wins the pot. My partner and I scraped together a measly pair of 8's with an Ace kicker. We got destroyed. Fun times none the less.
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I have been thinking a lot about the Nepal trip recently. As far as the project is concerned, the footage transfer will soon be coming to an end and we will be able to enter the next exciting phase which will be sifting through all the footage, this will be quite the task as it is riddled with shaky and out-of-focus camera work by my part at times. I am confident that we will have what we need. Enough to make it count.
Per request, here is a bit more of a detailed outline of what our trip looked like.
As a team, we set out to make a film that would act as a promotional tool for Peak Performance, as well as something that could further uncover the issues that many of the Nepali people.
We started our trip in Kathmandu, Nepal's capital city, visiting the various religious temples, and spending time with shop owners and hearing their stories.
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| Garbage filled Rivers |
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| Kathmandu |
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| Buddhist Stupa |
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| Young Monks in front of spinning Prayer Wheels |
We spent a week in the beautiful country village called Pokhara, in the foothills of the Himalaya. During our stay there, we visited a couple Tibetan refuge camps, as well as spent time in the homes of many Nepali people we struck up relationships with there, one day we even got the opportunity to go paragliding! It was incredible, flying on a parachute 9,000ft above the ground, an experience that I may have opted out on if I would've thought about it any longer, but snap decisions sometimes reap benefits.
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| Lake in Pokhara |
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| Fishtail from our hotel |
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| Paragliding |
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| Some landings were smoother than others |
After Pokhara we went trekking and headed up in the mountain village Ghandruk. Settled at 8,500ft elevation, it is a popular starting point for trekkers who are aimed at tackling the 6 day hike to the Annapurna base camp, which ends at 15,000ft elevation. In Ghandruk we stayed at a hotel with a beautiful view of the Himalayan mountains all around us. It was quite a site to see the clouds roll in throughout the day and fill the canyon ahead of us.
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| Our Ghandruk Friends |
On our way back through to Kathmandu, we had the opportunity to visit Everest Fashions, a clothing factory that employs women from the community to make clothes for them, among other things. Everest Fashions is dedicated to providing sanitary working conditions and good wages to its employees. I was very impressed with the operation there, it was the nicest work environment I saw in Nepal.
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| Everest Fashions |
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| Women making various items for Everest |
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| Women working from home knitting Ambler hats |
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| Everyone should buy an Ambler hat |
We also had the opportunity to visit a Leper colony while we were there, that was one of my favorite experiences from the trip. We had the chance to sit with people who had suffered from the effects of leprosy and hear there stories, so interesting to hear about the disease from an Eastern perspective, where it had largely been dismissed as a curse rather than a medical problem. All in all it was a very rewarding trip and I was blessed to see and hear so many interesting stories.
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| Hangin with kids at school |
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| Me and Dusty Chillin in Ghandruk |
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| Me and the wonderful Rita, our translator/cynic |
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Whew!
That's Wassup, Other notable stories from the week:
- Steph and I stood behind Gene Simmons and his family at the movie theater, I played it very cool by not overreacting, we even shared a "sheesh" moment when the ticket girl forbade his family to pass because they were supposed to go through a "special entrance", he didn't think it was necessary but she insisted. He looked back, I threw him a sympathizing head shake and he tossed me a "sigh". Good moment.
