You wanna talk about car problems?

"Because I got a '98 Civic that's harder to turn over than ME on Laguna Beach!"

(Beverly Hills Ninja anyone?)

Yo yo yo,

It's been a little while since my last update but I wanted to wait until I had something positive to say about my situation....

But that hasn't panned out so what-the-hell.

Here goes.

It all started a couple weeks ago when I wanted to surprise Steph by showing up at her place and take her out for breakfast

(Note: As to who would be paying for breakfast was undetermined)  

So I'm cruising down Wilshire Blvd on a beautiful 80-degree sunny day in Los Angeles, past the La Brea Tar-Pits and Rodeo Drive and then Beverly Hills and I'm thinking to myself:

"You know, I might actually be getting used to this whole LA thing."  

Then Judas (my Honda Civic) starts giving me gruff like it wants to turn off. 

Literally just die in my arms while I'm going 30+ MPH 

(Of course I'll never know exactly how fast I was going because Judas killed my speedometer six months ago.) 

My initial reaction was to pretend like nothing was happeneing, I'm hallucinating. 

There is absolutely no Frickin' way that MY CAR would try to DIE ON ME after I had just replaced the alternator for the 2nd TIME in THREE WEEKS...

The Dashboard lights pulsed a couple times, breathed their final breaths, made some Star Wars "engine turbine shutdown" sounds and then....nothing. 

I was still going 30 MPH of course.

In a coffin-on-wheels. 

I coasted through an intersection (Thank God for that Green Light) and tried to pull over to the side of the road amidst the LA traffic. 

Judas...

Everything was planned perfectly, he was trying to kill me. 

I came to this realization when I discovered exactly where I was now stopped. 

You see, my car decided to die on one of the busiest roads in LA at a spot right between a golf course.

No Shoulder, No bike lane, No where to pull over. 

And the nearest side street was (and I Google Mapped this) 1/3 mile  ( or 5 football fields) Up-Hill into the World renown Los Angeles Country Club.

Walk of Doom

It was one of those moments where I might've just walked away from the scene had that been a possibility, but with traffic swerving and honking and driving up-my-ass. 

I had to push. 

I'm having too much fun with Google Maps

Now I've pushed a dead car before, but I had assistance, this was a whole different ball game. 

I not only had to push the damn thing, but steer and work the parking break when my legs collapsed every 30 steps, not to mention wave to oncoming traffic to "Go around" or provide a more expletive hand jesture should it become necesarry. 

Talk about multitasking. 

The Swass was inevitable. 

I had dirt all over my shirt, arms, and face from wiping away sweat after laying my hands on the car. 

I was a real mess. 

I took another quick break and called Steph to ruin her day by having her come get me. 

A couple of Good Samaritan's came at the last second and helped me push the car the final 30 yards into the Main Entrance of the Golf Course.

They gave each other a high-five, a hard days work, and then were gone.

Great Timing Guys.

I found myself in the front drive of the beautiful LA country club.

The Security guys were awesome, they carted out some water and set up traffic cones.

I got into a conversation with the head-of-security who spent his time trying to recruit me into the LAPD, he was an old officer who now runs the security at the course. 

Alan, good guy.

The other guy, Juan, ran and grabbed me a bartending application after I told him that I used to work at a country club. 

So who knows?? Maybe this whole crazy day has a silver lining.

Steph soon arrived and was psyched to see me.

She rescued me in her pajamas = dedication.

"Not this again"

Lucky me, I still had the number of the towing service I had to use just weeks before to come get me, they came and took this....

 

Back to here....

And that was over a week ago.

Nazo, my mechanic who I am rapidly losing patience with, has been beside himself with this thing.

He again replaced the alternator, (as if the 3rd time is the charm).

Then he drove it around and it broke down on him! 

HA! Now all of the sudden its a wiring issue. 

I have not seen my car in a while.

I would be more pissed but he has been been doing this all for free (or so he tells me). 

The other day he called me and said that he was going to try to install some sort of "direct wire" nonsense, it sounds dangerous and probably illegal.

So I said fine, It's just got to get me to a dealership so I can trade that Mo-Fo in and get another crap vehicle. 

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The day after that fiasco, Steph and I went back to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and watched Poltergeist with some friends. 

We made sure to get in line extra early so we had some primo spots. 

We ended up sitting right near the front of the lawn, sipping Two-Buck-Chuck and eating snacks.

Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Veronica Mars) and her crew sat right behind us. 

Totally rad. 

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The Next Day Steph and I drove Up to Big Basin Redwood National Forrest in Northern CAL. She had some vacation time and we were looking for:

A. an Adventure

B. Any chance to get out of LA

This was one of the Best Places I have ever been. I'll let the pictures explain.

Setting up our 6 person tent (Thanks Giblins)

 These trees can grow well above 300 ft and live over Two Thousand Years old.

 Redwoods are like mutant trees.

They have natural bug fighting qualites in their bark and are also extremely flame retardant.

When fires do occur, they burn through the inside of the trees, leaving then husked out, some go all the way to the top.

Steph: Height 5'4''... and that's the only statistic she will allow

Day 2 we took a 12-mile hike around the forest.

Saw some excellent waterfalls. 

refueling

 Does this forest look familiar?

It should, The Return of the Jedi was filmed here.

Yes.

This is the Ewok Forest.

Just imagine an AT-ST walking around out there

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We made an entire day out of the drive back to LA.

We stopped in Monterey and checked out Cannery Row and The old Fisherman's Wharf.

The wharf was amazing, it was at one point the largest fishing wharf in the world and is famous for it's seafood restaurants and Elephant Seals that swim in the bays.

Elephant seal barking away

This Pelican was definitely unsure about me

The Wharf

 Now what's an ocean town without a place called "Lovers Point".

Well this place had one, so we checked it out.

It was this rocky area filled with crazy little squirrel/gophers.

A very wise looking Squirrel-Gopher

Our next stop was through the famous "17-mile-drive" along Pebble Beach.

This super secret spot is home to some of the world's most famous Golf Courses and one of the most famous tree's in all of nature. (See Below)

"The Lone Cypress"
A pretty big deal according to photographers

Next we stopped off in the artsy ocean city of Carmel-by-the-Sea and found a little hole in wall Pub called The Hog's Breath Inn.

Hog's Head Pale Ale, Yum

This restaurant had some great burgers and beer. 

Oh, and It's owned by Clint Eastwood.

Eastwood Merch all over the place

I had the famous "Dirty Harry" Burger, Steph had some delish Fish 'N Chips. 

Next time you're in Carmel, check it out.

Yes THAT Eastwood.

After The Hogs Breath, we strolled around Carmel, thanks to the detailed tour guide provided by Steph's dad Randy, who not only suggested places to visit but gave us the detailed history of just about every building we encountered. It was awesome.

We ran down to the bakery and I asked for a football cookie before I realized that they were dog treats.

So tempting

So I settled on a Ghost Cookie instead...

The artistry was a joke compared to the dog cookies

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Back in LA.....

My Twin Roommates Matt and Jeff Giblin celebrated their birthday in high-style as they threw their annual "Twin Party"

All guests were encouraged to find a Twin and dress as such.

Naturally Steph and I went as the Minnesota Twins (Cute!)

Mario Matt and Luigi Jeff

Then the mustache went around the room

"D'ya have a good Sarsaparilla?"

"A Wiser Fella than Myself once said, 'sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, well, he eats you'" 

The Rainbow (Trout) Connection

We got a new Roommate...
He's pretty chill.

Steph likes him.

He's gotta go.

Roommates Josh Ford and Kermit.

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I'll say this,

Fly fishing in Montana was incredible. I spent three days fishing on the Yellowstone River with my Dad, Ben, and Steve (Uncle Steve not German Shepherd Steve).

This trip was the perfect way to rejuvenate and relax after a week full of car breakdowns and other sorts of Los Angeles nonsense.
 

The mountains, winding rivers, wildlife, and mesquite Montana air were all welcome changes to the Smog, traffic, and validated parking.

The view from our back deck - The Yellowstone River

We had three days full of fishing, highlighted by the various competitions we proposed each day

Day 1. Most fish - Steve*
Day 2. First to catch 4 types of Trout - Winner*
Day 3. Total inches of fish caught in a day (Team) - Winner*

Of course it wouldn't be a true Curtis fishing trip without some Old-guy humor,

"Nice cast Sally!"

That sort of thing.

First Ever Trout

Tallying inches for our Day 3 competition: Ben and I won in the final 10 minutes
to beat the older Curtis bros. with over 250 inches of fish caught.

At the pinnacle of Fly-fishing fashion with my
Camoflage USA hat and Stoic Wolf tee-shirt.  

Ben doing everything he can to make
this fish look as big as possible

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After the fishing trip, it was back to Minnesota for (Yep, you guessed it) ANOTHER Wedding. Cripes!

We celebrated the union of one of my "top dudes" CJ Barr and his lovely lady Molly Herbranson.
I was honored to stand as a Groomsman and provide a little music along with some other friends.
We played Coldplay's "Fix You" as Molly made her way down the aisle.
I must say, it sounded pretty epic.
Molly's cousin provided an awesome lead electric guitar and I got stuck on the keyboard.
I am pretty horrible at the piano and had to cheat by putting pieces of tape on the keys I was supposed to play during the song.

Earlier that day, the wedding party headed downtown to the old Mill City Museum in Menneapolis to take pictures.
This museum was built into the ruins of what was once the largest flour mill in the world.

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The rest of the trip was spent hanging out with friends and family, including little Sammie...

Two months old!

Watching the Twins further disappoint me by WINNING their final game and ending the season losing 99 games instead of a polished 100... They could at least have made history...

You know your team is crap when these seats cost $10

Attending BU's homecoming game, which I must say gets stranger every year as a former player. Watching the team from the stands was seriously nostalgic and came with the harsh realization that I have become one of those old guys who criticizes each play by saying
"There's no way any team would try to run on us like that in '07 with the defense we had...those were the days".

The trip was capped off in about the best way possible.
With a bike ride.
I've been riding the Minnetonka bike trails for as long as I can remember, but in the past few years, we've added a 21+ twist.
Depart from the Curtis house and take the 5 mile trail into Excelsior to the bars.
The real fun begins on the ride home, in the dark, faculties partly-cloudy, on a trail that now seems 20 miles longer than it did earlier.

Eric and I set off on our trek

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The flight back to California was pretty nice.
It had rained earlier that day in LA, which despite the widespread panic that can cause, made for some nice cool weather.

Not quite Montana

This past weekend, Steph and I drove down to Balboa Island. It's one of the coolest places I've been out here. A small island with houses and shops and a ferry-ride across the bay will take you to another peninsula with other restaurants and beaches. Divine.

This house was COVERED in Holloween decorations, this is not the only house we saw like this.

Next we went to Laguna Beach and took a look off one of the cliffs there. You can hear the sea lions barking away in the ocean.
They smell awful.

That's what's up.
A bit of a weak post but oh well. 

In other news, I went to the "wrap party" for my friends' movie I was involved in. The one where I played a Mexican Drug addict. It looks pretty good. I look like crap but we'll wait for the finished product before we pass any judgement.

Umm what else??

My work situation is stagnant as of right now but I am crossing my fingers to get back on set for season two of World's Worst Tenants which should start up in a couple weeks.

I'm happy to announce that I have advanced to a 5-0 record in one of my fantasy football leagues. My team 'Paranormal Sacktivity' is a well-oiled machine and shows no signs of slowing down with Cam Newton at the helm.


Steph and I are going camping next week in Northern Cal, I'm psyched. AND they're playing Poltergeist at the Hollywood forever cemetary on Saturday, so there's that.

In the mean time I'll be hanging out, watching The Wonder Years on Netflix.
I was worried it was going to be one of those shows you love as a kid and then get all excited to show your friends when your older and then it totally sucks (Like when I tried showing Steph 'The Dark Crystal' - which I still defend as a classic).
Not this though, this is pure gold.

Yep.