You wanna talk about car problems?

"Because I got a '98 Civic that's harder to turn over than ME on Laguna Beach!"

(Beverly Hills Ninja anyone?)

Yo yo yo,

It's been a little while since my last update but I wanted to wait until I had something positive to say about my situation....

But that hasn't panned out so what-the-hell.

Here goes.

It all started a couple weeks ago when I wanted to surprise Steph by showing up at her place and take her out for breakfast

(Note: As to who would be paying for breakfast was undetermined)  

So I'm cruising down Wilshire Blvd on a beautiful 80-degree sunny day in Los Angeles, past the La Brea Tar-Pits and Rodeo Drive and then Beverly Hills and I'm thinking to myself:

"You know, I might actually be getting used to this whole LA thing."  

Then Judas (my Honda Civic) starts giving me gruff like it wants to turn off. 

Literally just die in my arms while I'm going 30+ MPH 

(Of course I'll never know exactly how fast I was going because Judas killed my speedometer six months ago.) 

My initial reaction was to pretend like nothing was happeneing, I'm hallucinating. 

There is absolutely no Frickin' way that MY CAR would try to DIE ON ME after I had just replaced the alternator for the 2nd TIME in THREE WEEKS...

The Dashboard lights pulsed a couple times, breathed their final breaths, made some Star Wars "engine turbine shutdown" sounds and then....nothing. 

I was still going 30 MPH of course.

In a coffin-on-wheels. 

I coasted through an intersection (Thank God for that Green Light) and tried to pull over to the side of the road amidst the LA traffic. 

Judas...

Everything was planned perfectly, he was trying to kill me. 

I came to this realization when I discovered exactly where I was now stopped. 

You see, my car decided to die on one of the busiest roads in LA at a spot right between a golf course.

No Shoulder, No bike lane, No where to pull over. 

And the nearest side street was (and I Google Mapped this) 1/3 mile  ( or 5 football fields) Up-Hill into the World renown Los Angeles Country Club.

Walk of Doom

It was one of those moments where I might've just walked away from the scene had that been a possibility, but with traffic swerving and honking and driving up-my-ass. 

I had to push. 

I'm having too much fun with Google Maps

Now I've pushed a dead car before, but I had assistance, this was a whole different ball game. 

I not only had to push the damn thing, but steer and work the parking break when my legs collapsed every 30 steps, not to mention wave to oncoming traffic to "Go around" or provide a more expletive hand jesture should it become necesarry. 

Talk about multitasking. 

The Swass was inevitable. 

I had dirt all over my shirt, arms, and face from wiping away sweat after laying my hands on the car. 

I was a real mess. 

I took another quick break and called Steph to ruin her day by having her come get me. 

A couple of Good Samaritan's came at the last second and helped me push the car the final 30 yards into the Main Entrance of the Golf Course.

They gave each other a high-five, a hard days work, and then were gone.

Great Timing Guys.

I found myself in the front drive of the beautiful LA country club.

The Security guys were awesome, they carted out some water and set up traffic cones.

I got into a conversation with the head-of-security who spent his time trying to recruit me into the LAPD, he was an old officer who now runs the security at the course. 

Alan, good guy.

The other guy, Juan, ran and grabbed me a bartending application after I told him that I used to work at a country club. 

So who knows?? Maybe this whole crazy day has a silver lining.

Steph soon arrived and was psyched to see me.

She rescued me in her pajamas = dedication.

"Not this again"

Lucky me, I still had the number of the towing service I had to use just weeks before to come get me, they came and took this....

 

Back to here....

And that was over a week ago.

Nazo, my mechanic who I am rapidly losing patience with, has been beside himself with this thing.

He again replaced the alternator, (as if the 3rd time is the charm).

Then he drove it around and it broke down on him! 

HA! Now all of the sudden its a wiring issue. 

I have not seen my car in a while.

I would be more pissed but he has been been doing this all for free (or so he tells me). 

The other day he called me and said that he was going to try to install some sort of "direct wire" nonsense, it sounds dangerous and probably illegal.

So I said fine, It's just got to get me to a dealership so I can trade that Mo-Fo in and get another crap vehicle. 

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The day after that fiasco, Steph and I went back to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and watched Poltergeist with some friends. 

We made sure to get in line extra early so we had some primo spots. 

We ended up sitting right near the front of the lawn, sipping Two-Buck-Chuck and eating snacks.

Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Veronica Mars) and her crew sat right behind us. 

Totally rad. 

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The Next Day Steph and I drove Up to Big Basin Redwood National Forrest in Northern CAL. She had some vacation time and we were looking for:

A. an Adventure

B. Any chance to get out of LA

This was one of the Best Places I have ever been. I'll let the pictures explain.

Setting up our 6 person tent (Thanks Giblins)

 These trees can grow well above 300 ft and live over Two Thousand Years old.

 Redwoods are like mutant trees.

They have natural bug fighting qualites in their bark and are also extremely flame retardant.

When fires do occur, they burn through the inside of the trees, leaving then husked out, some go all the way to the top.

Steph: Height 5'4''... and that's the only statistic she will allow

Day 2 we took a 12-mile hike around the forest.

Saw some excellent waterfalls. 

refueling

 Does this forest look familiar?

It should, The Return of the Jedi was filmed here.

Yes.

This is the Ewok Forest.

Just imagine an AT-ST walking around out there

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We made an entire day out of the drive back to LA.

We stopped in Monterey and checked out Cannery Row and The old Fisherman's Wharf.

The wharf was amazing, it was at one point the largest fishing wharf in the world and is famous for it's seafood restaurants and Elephant Seals that swim in the bays.

Elephant seal barking away

This Pelican was definitely unsure about me

The Wharf

 Now what's an ocean town without a place called "Lovers Point".

Well this place had one, so we checked it out.

It was this rocky area filled with crazy little squirrel/gophers.

A very wise looking Squirrel-Gopher

Our next stop was through the famous "17-mile-drive" along Pebble Beach.

This super secret spot is home to some of the world's most famous Golf Courses and one of the most famous tree's in all of nature. (See Below)

"The Lone Cypress"
A pretty big deal according to photographers

Next we stopped off in the artsy ocean city of Carmel-by-the-Sea and found a little hole in wall Pub called The Hog's Breath Inn.

Hog's Head Pale Ale, Yum

This restaurant had some great burgers and beer. 

Oh, and It's owned by Clint Eastwood.

Eastwood Merch all over the place

I had the famous "Dirty Harry" Burger, Steph had some delish Fish 'N Chips. 

Next time you're in Carmel, check it out.

Yes THAT Eastwood.

After The Hogs Breath, we strolled around Carmel, thanks to the detailed tour guide provided by Steph's dad Randy, who not only suggested places to visit but gave us the detailed history of just about every building we encountered. It was awesome.

We ran down to the bakery and I asked for a football cookie before I realized that they were dog treats.

So tempting

So I settled on a Ghost Cookie instead...

The artistry was a joke compared to the dog cookies

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Back in LA.....

My Twin Roommates Matt and Jeff Giblin celebrated their birthday in high-style as they threw their annual "Twin Party"

All guests were encouraged to find a Twin and dress as such.

Naturally Steph and I went as the Minnesota Twins (Cute!)

Mario Matt and Luigi Jeff

Then the mustache went around the room

"D'ya have a good Sarsaparilla?"

"A Wiser Fella than Myself once said, 'sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, well, he eats you'"