A Forward from the Author:
Well gentle souls, I suppose it's that time.
Time for another installment of what is sure to delight the masses. The story of a wonderful life in California. A story filled with adventure and intrigue, highs and lows, and about how a '98 Honda Civic could reduce a man to tears (In Today's episode: The BRAKE light joins the CHECK ENGINE light on the dashboard - starting to look like a G.D. Christmas tree in there)
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| True |
The truth is I've started this post 4 or 5 times and simply lost the thread of what to talk about. The past couple months have seemed to be a collection of repeated weeks, skipping back to their intro every Monday, moving towards a crescendo for Wednesday evening acting classes, and then back down to earth before a weekend encore of bartending at a Beverly Hills Indian Restaurant (at least the tempo picks up, and the 'Jai Ho' dance is encouraged).
Things are beginning to stale I suppose, and that always makes me antsy. Every time I enter a new situation, I come in guns blazing, a few weeks roll past, I learn the ins and outs, and then think "Ok, time to move on."
Perhaps the luxurious life of a bartender has been wearing me thin. I've been working 6 or 7 days a week at 3 different places, and in the end, can't figure out why I'm trying so hard, waiting for some kind of pay-out.
LA is a city brimming with opportunists, people shaking hands and handing out cards, climbing and crawling their way over people in an effort to build their careers. It's a system of praising, wooing, and courting people in the hopes that they could 'put in a good word' or make an introduction or pass on a resume. I can see this evidenced in myself as I strain, nod, and smile with CEO's of companies at the Country Club. I've had just about enough backslapping and laughing at the jokes these guys read off of the internet (A lot of the time they print the jokes out and refer to them for accuracy). I've had to ask myself, 'What do I think I'm going to accomplish with all this ass-kissing?'
"y'know what Danny, we could use a guy like you at the firm, send us your resume..."
To which they would undoubtedly marvel at my body-of-work:
"Says here you used to clean-up crime scenes"
"That's right sir, for a medical waste disposal company, I think the experience taught me how to deal with 'messy situations' haha - oh, and the importance of bleach."
"Indeed, and you also have experience at... umm, what-the-hell is a 'corn-stand'?"
"It's basically just a tent in a parking lot where I sold produce for a local farm"
"I see, and did you learn any skills there?"
"Well sir, I could help you pick out a good cantaloupe haha (cough) but more importantly the experience taught me that I have a very finite tolerance for senior citizens."
...
I've realized that too often lately, I walk around (like many in Hollywood) with my best smile and Banana Republic Polo in the "lightning surely strikes" hope that somebody will swerve their Maserati to the curb, hop out and say "My God! You're the one!"
I mean this is the place where that happens right?
...and yes I bought a Mega Millions, don't act like you didn't.
Looking back on this month however, I can see that I HAVE been making strides (albeit small ones) in the direction of the film industry once again, but from a slightly different angle.
The PA thing sucked and was getting me nowhere fast, unless of course I wanted to continue in the Reality TV field, one of the saddest and least fulfilling areas of media. Bottom of the totem pole next to those public access square-dancing programs with the old people, which I admit I get sucked into sometimes.
So..
For the past two months I have been enrolled in an acting class called the Imagined Life.
The class implements techniques that I've never tried before, but make the most sense to me. If you've heard of Method acting, you might understand the aim of these classes, where instead of "acting" you BECOME the character, the circumstances, and make them apart of you. Instead of memorizing lines, we spend our time 'creating the world and circumstances' in which we live.
Some notable actors who employ this technique include Jim Carrey, Heath Ledger, Robert De Nero, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Christian Bale, Joaquin Phoenix, Sasha Baron Cohen and Daniel Day Lewis. These Actors (Especially Day-Lewis) spend months and sometimes years preparing for roles, adopting habits and eating styles and accents that their characters would find natural, eventually convincing themselves that they are the character.
Sounds Extreme. Yes it can be, but try to take your eyes off those actors on the screen.
(Daniel Day Lewis boxed and trained for THREE YEARS for his role in The Boxer. By the time he was ready to shoot the film, his trainers said that he could've contended to be the Middle-Weight Champion of the World.)
Now, I'm a million miles away from those pros (whom I have swiftly gained respect for), but the opportunity to take the class presented itself and I signed up, and it's crazy how much fun it is.
Am I still writing the Forward? Crypes
I guess I just wanted to say that this month..or two months, whatever, have seemed a bit slow. Not too much worth reporting execpt eccept accept except* (took me like 19 times to spell that right)... EXCEPT that I have gotten to see some great friends over the past couple months.
End of Forward.
- Danny
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| Calamari Cocktail |
There that's better.
So Yes I'm giving the acting thing a shot, (hopefully more of an effort than what landed me in the courtroom on Judge Ross - which I still have yet to find on the internet)
I've had to get my headshots in order and this is the part of the job that absolutely KILLS ME.
Printing resumes, cutting them down, stapling them to the back of my headshot, putting them in the manila envelopes and sending them off - 20 or 30 at a time.
I got some initial headshots, like the day I moved to California, but they turned out a tad too Muslim for my liking.
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| Like I'm Selling Toothpaste in Iran. |
I felt like all this picture was missing was a gold chain necklace resting in a healthy bed of chest-hair, then I could pull off a Saudi David Hasselhoff - feel free to photoshop. (More on 'the Hoff' later in this blog). Although I can't knock this picture entirely, I got the Judge Ross gig from this look, but I felt it was lagging so my dear cousin Jeanne offered to help me out with some new ones.
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| Awesome Right? Like super cool with the plain green tee, just a guy who knows how to relax, grew up on the wrong side of the tracks but has a heart of gold? It's all there. |
So headshots are pretty dumb. I could never model. It took all day to get a shot of me looking 'slightly-interested' that casting directors fawn over.
Last week I sent out 24 of these bad boys to different agencies and have yet to hear back from anyone.
So.... We shall see.
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The theme of the past couple months has been Friends come to Cali! And starting things off was a visit from Eric Rhode.
Rhode was down in the Huntington area "on business" for his work at Carlson, and came up to hang for the weekend.
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| Darts at Molly Malones - feels like home |
Rhode is the friend in the group that I keep in the rolodex because he is going to be a successful CEO someday and will be my ace-in-hole if I find myself selling bootleg DVD's on Hollywood blvd in 5 years and need someone to get me a job in a mail-room. He'd do that for me. He's a pretty good guy.
And BECAUSE he is such a Baller at the office, his company treated him (and by proxy ME) to a Lakers vs. T-wolves showdown at the Staples Center. Sooooo sick.
*I have JUST discovered that I can make money off of this blog by including ads relating to the content, so I will henceforth be riddling my blog posts with advertisements.
So far that leaves me with Honda Civics and Timberwolves merch.
I will choose the lesser of two evils by starting with this charming Timberwolves Glass Pitcher available for a STEAL at $29.95 at KOHLS.com - go there immediately and purchase one.
Now back to the show.
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| Derrick Williams goes up for a 3 during warmups. He may have missed. But the seats were great. |
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| This was the only picture I got of the two of us, but this pretty much sums up the experience. |
We spent the game cheering obnoxiously as annoyed Lakers fans asked us to settle down. This was highlighted by screaming "guilty!" every time Kobe touched the ball.
Rhode was blessed with a voice that would make Ball Park Beer-Men everywhere nod in approval. It was this voice that caused so much alarm among Lakers fans, as well as what drew some nods and waves from some T-Wolves players.
We ended up losing, but c'mon it was a good effort, and then we saw David Hasselhoff a few rows ahead of us and yelled for him to take a picture with us, he played it really cool and just walked away but his girlfriend was laughing.
Our faculties betraying us, we decided to follow 'The Hoff" onto the court after the game - turns out you can't do that - we were "asked/strong-armed" to leave "like right now"
Our faculties betraying us, we decided to follow 'The Hoff" onto the court after the game - turns out you can't do that - we were "asked/strong-armed" to leave "like right now"
(HEY MAN! I'VE GOT A BEVERAGE HERE! - what movie?)
Rhode is always a good man to be around, I look forward to his return to LA shortly, along with Eric Atherton - should be a scream.
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I've been bartending at this Indian Restaurant in Beverly Hills called Tanzore. It's a real 'Shot-of-Espresso' compared to the country club where instead of serving Gimlets in chilled glasses for seniors I'm pouring AMF's (Adios M*****F****) in plastic cups for college kids. But HEY they tip!
I've been working there on weekends whenever they need an extra guy for parties or banquets or whatever. I've done college parties, Indian parties, Indian Weddings, and even a Deaf-convention where I busted out some Highschool ASL (which I butchered but was commended for my effort).
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| I think this is the Deaf Convention, or maybe an Indian Party, either way they usually try to involve a JAI-HO or belly dance of some kind. |
*So this was the closest thing I could find for Keyword: INDIAN CUISINE
However, I feel like it fits the circumstances.
Now you can have something to drink out of when you're at work and can't access your kick-ass T-Wolves pitcher.
Available at KOHLS.com for the "Pinch ME!" price of $35.95
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One of the first events that happened when Steph and I moved to LA was an Oscar party hosted by her landlord Melanie. That was over a year ago, and since then I have had the pleasure of getting to know Melanie. I am happy to report that she is one of the most interesting and original people I have ever met. You see, Melanie's parents were in the film industry. Well that's putting it mildly. Her parents dominated the film industry, at a time when it was truly the golden era of cinema. Her mother was a famous actress named Anita Louise (She was the mother on My Friend Flicka and was in over 60 films including The Little Princess with Shirley Temple). Melanie's Father was Buddy Adler, a film producer who was the Head of 20th Century Fox and won an Academy Award for Best Picture for his Film From Here To Eternity. He was also the recipient of the Cecille B. Demille award - a lifetime achievement award shared by a small class of people including Walt Disney, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, Steven Speilberg, and Alfred Hitchcock.
Upon meeting Melanie, you would never in a million years suspect that she grew up steeped in such glamour and stardom. She had no interest in the film industry, growing up behind the scenes, knowing there was no wizard before anyone got to OZ. She is a very humble and interested person, constantly asking questions and seeking knowledge. She has a love for people and projects and is one of the most unaffected & authentic people I have met out here.
The Oscars in LA is like the Superbowl, bets are place, ballots are filled, and Melanie cooked for the eleven or twelve guests who attended the party - many of them friends of Melanie's when she was young.
Upon meeting Melanie, you would never in a million years suspect that she grew up steeped in such glamour and stardom. She had no interest in the film industry, growing up behind the scenes, knowing there was no wizard before anyone got to OZ. She is a very humble and interested person, constantly asking questions and seeking knowledge. She has a love for people and projects and is one of the most unaffected & authentic people I have met out here.
The Oscars in LA is like the Superbowl, bets are place, ballots are filled, and Melanie cooked for the eleven or twelve guests who attended the party - many of them friends of Melanie's when she was young.
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| How often do you go to an Oscar party with an actual Oscar? This thing was heavy. |
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| Melanie and Stephanie shared the victory and split the pot. Steph's record is now a perfect 2-0 after her victory last year. |
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| Melanie's secret recipe: Cats |
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| Yum |
* If only Melanie had the Smartcat Cat Climber from Pioneer Pet, they wouldn't have to sit in boiling pots.
Yeah I'm gonna get REAL annoying with this ad nonsense.
Available at Kohls.
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VEGAS
If you head to YELP and look for reviews on the Las Vegas hotel THE IMPERIAL PALACE, you may find the following reviews:
"Amazing this place hasn't been condemned..." Robert K.
"Scary" - Lauren G.
"Shittiest Hotel on the Strip..." - Carla N.
"I don't know why people hate this place. It's WAAY better than Excalibur..." Harold T.
We booked a room for two nights, with Harold's assurance in mind.
All I can say is that I won't ever stay at the Excalibur, but the IMPERIAL PALACE sort of grew on me after awhile. Like physically grew on me - It's like a petri dish.
OK all kidding aside it wasn't so bad. Sure the elevators didn't work, the floors were stained, and the second floor provided a second-hand-high from all the marijuana billowing from the rooms. Oh - and the fire alarm went off 10 minutes after we checked in, but YOU try finding a better deal on a hotel in the middle of the strip on a weekend. PLUS, we had the company of Dusty and Casey Wahl (Tying the Knot - June 2012).
All in all, I wouldn't trade the hotel experience for anywhere else. We were smack dab in the middle of the strip, it was cheap, and we even buddied up with some Marines at the pool (they actually bought us our very own 72oz AMF. OOHRAH!)
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| Where would the night take us? |
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| We sort of followed the fold on this one, other people were taking pictures in the shoe, so why not? |
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| Dusty and I lost the gals in Tiffany's for a brief time.... |
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| "What happens here, stays here" Unless you stayed at the Imperial Palace in which case 'what happen[ed] [there]' might spread if not properly medicated. |
HOOVER
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Aside from working at the LA Country Club, I recently received a call from the Riviera Country Club to help out for an "event" they were having.
I get excited for opportunities at the Riviera because it's where all the "industry-types" like to go.
I showed up not knowing what to expect and began setting up my bar in the middle of their "Crystal Ball Room" when all of the sudden I saw a flurry of Gold and Purple Glittering Girls race past the bar, they were of course, the LAKER GIRLS - thought they looked familiar from the basketball game.
I soon realized that I was bartending for the Lakers Youth Foundation, where the players raise money for under privileged youth. Sure enough, in came the Lakers, Pau Gasol, Matt Barnes, Steve Blake, World Peace, and yes, Kobe Bryant.
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| Yes, the two recent championship trophies. I jumped behind the table and snagged a picture before the event when the security guy went to the bathroom. |
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| C'mon guys, his name is Dennis Haysbert, not "That black president from 24" |
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| This is a view from Bel Air Presbyterian Church, where Steph and I have attended a few times recently, its awesome. |
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| El Matador Beach |
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| We received an awesome Easter basket from my mom, Thanks for the Tobasco chocolate - I don't know where you find this stuff but it was incredible. |
*Apparently KOHLS does not carry Tobasco chocolate or you'd have found a link.
RIGHT HERE
You win this time.
Another notable happening was a visit from Steph's long-time BFF Katie and her boyfriend Kevin back in March. We had a great time going to Universal Studios, heading to the Arclight Theater for a movie, and playing a mix-and-name-your-own-drink game where we ended up sipping on "Snakes Venom"and "Bud Light-Year" and taking shot's of "Albert's Pool-House". Great Times.
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About the Most Exciting thing that's happened recently was my Cousin Cheryl's 50th Birthday bash.
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| Cousin Jeanne and Cheryl |
But even THAT got a little weird...
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| Yep |
So with that, I leave you.
Looking forward, I am anxious for the arrival of Eric's Atherton and Rhode (again) later this month.
Then Steph and I will be back Home to the Good 'ol Midwest in June for two weeks. Can't wait.
Hopefully next time I can write about some new and exciting job somewhere, or an acting gig, or a new car?
Stay tuned for stories about the time Steph and I hung out on the set of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and that time we ran into the Kardashians.
That's AllStates Stand,
Are you in Good Hands?
