Daniel Curtis returns to his chair outside Gate E6 after confirming with the gate attendant that his flight has indeed been delayed due to mechanical issues. He has just spent that past 5 days visiting friends and family in Minnesota and Wisconsin and is ready to head back to LA. His Phone Rings. A California Area Code.
ME: Hello
VOICE: Uh Hi...Daniel? This is Augustino, I work at the HAHA COMEDY CAFE in Burbank, we met the other week....This might sound strange but were you involved in a car accident earlier today?
ME: ....Pardon Me?
AUGUSTINO: Yeah, we've been getting phone calls all day from various LA news sources asking if we knew a Daniel Curtis, and that you had been hit by a car on Highland ave in Hollywood today, just wondering if that was you or....but I mean I'm talking to you so....are you in the hospital or something?
ME: Hit by a car? I'm actually in Minnesota right now...
AUGUSTINO: They sent you to Minnesota!? Jee-Zus! was it serious?? They said you were dead!
AUGUSTINO (aside): they sent him to Minnesota....yeah....I dunno, probably that Mayo Institute or whatever?
ME: No no I'm fine! It wasn't me, I'm at the airport in Minneapolis right now
AUGUSTINO: So you didn't get hit by a car?
ME: Umm No
AUGUSTINO: Well....alright! Glad you're safe....freaky shit man!.... I dunno what's going on, text me if your plane starts going down or something...
What a way to come back to LA.
I phoned my mom to tell her I had apparently been hit by a car hours earlier, thousands of miles away, the confusion spread. It turned out that a different Daniel Curtis had been hit by a taxi earlier in LA, very sad to report.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wassup Blog-friends!?
Is it time to Monetize this thing yet?
Who'd be interested in buying some "life among limes" tee-shirts, or maybe coffee mugs?
They could have a cartoon lime smoking a cigarette saying "Life is full of Limes" or "I'm a Lime" or "It's Lime Time!"
"bLimey!".....so yeah I lost my job
I'm a bit desperate at the moment.
Apparently, the full-time PA position was filled by a charming girl who arrived two weeks ago after meeting our producer at a bar.
Maybe she is better suited at shopping for bath tubs.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
But for now, I'm hitting the streets, trying once again to find a job that will allow me to stay here.
Watch out Barnes and Noble.
So pray for me please, it would be greatly appreciated
I'll give you a moment....
....
....
....
Ok, now let me catch ya'll up on the Fun I had these past couple weeks;
Last time I reported, I had gone onstage at the Haha Comedy Cafe, a once in a lifetime experience I thought.
Shortly thereafter I received a phone call and was invited back for a second time to compete in a "newcomers tournament"....
ME: Hello?
ITALIAN CLUB OWNER:
Danny Curtis! hey you're the Midwest kid right?
with the uh work-out jokes 'n shit?
Yeah you were the one that sat on stage for 'boutta half hour right?
funny stuff...
LISTEN we're gonna need you to come back and compete in this little show we're throwin together, whaddya say heh? ...where I qualified to come back for a Third time to compete in the "newcomers finals" pitting me against 19 other comedians (yes it was a long night) for the position of "comic-of-the-month".
Now I did NOT walk away with the crown that evening but was successful enough to be invited back on Monday nights to continue on my "career path".
What a "cluster-mug"
I suppose I'll keep attending if I've got no other pressing matters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well it's about dang time we got active and started working out! For Real this time!"
Steph and I arrived at this inspiring revelation after some particularly greasy pizza in Westwood.
"...Tomorrow we start! No Excuses. Whatever we'll start slow if we have to but, could you pass the mozzarella - thanks.....we'll start slow but we are gonna start kicking butt. I would even consider working up to a marath... " (You get the picture)
In our defense, there were some pretty great pictures of Rocky Balboa on the wall. They even had one with Sylvester Stallone and the owner where they were smiling like old friends and pointing at each other.
Completed with the personalized legend: LOVE THE PIZZA! KEEP FIGHTIN' - SLY STALLONE
So we jogged around the luxurious HOLBMY PARK in Bel Air, and we couldn't have gone 100 feet before we had to maneuver around some 70-year-old guy basking in his sun chair next to his topless 30-something "girlfriend".
I made a journalistic query whether or not to snap a picture "You know, for the blog?" but Stephanie made it clear that it would not be necessary.
A truly eclectic group of park goers were out and about including several pods of "oldies" who were either setting up checker boards on the grass or sitting open-mouthed on park benches staring into space (there's something about the old people here, I'm not joking).
There was a fiesta of sorts underway at the picnic area with members of the Latin community and we even spotted a group of "big heavies" or "Boombas" galumphing down the trail, smashing it to death in their matching tees, 'racing for the cure'.
Other notable park experiences included a father teaching his 5 year old daughter how to golf, a lesson that nearly cost an elderly couple on a nearby bench a visit to the hospital, as well as a group of Shitzu's who had escaped their "walker" and went tearing across the lawn in a frenzy.
Again, if you want to pay to go on a star tour, this view will be a gem, you can actually SEE part of the house!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the highlights of the past couple weeks was heading over to an actual house, with a yard and driveway and everything, to have a breakfast for dinner party with some friends.
 |
| I was stuck on bacon duty |
 |
| Steph worked on toast, Jeff made a phenom potato dish |
It was like I was back in the Kitchen at Jake O'Connor's in Excelsior, except there was very little Spanish spoken and no Cougars to simultaneously flirt and send their food back to the kitchen to have "fixed".
 |
| Yum |
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was so excited to get the chance to return to the Midwest for a week, I had two bachelor parties to attend in two different states...in 2 days.
I arrived at the Milwaukee Airport after a brief layover in Kansas City, another part of the world I consider a home.
I followed an old woman onto the plane, as this was a Frontier Flight, there were pictures of two small polar bear cubs on the wingtips and a heartwarming sign upon entering the plane with the same picture reading "Today you'll be flying with Klondike and Snow". The woman glared at the sign in pure horror and approached the flight attendant ahead of us "There are Polar Bears on this flight!?" - honestly.
 |
| KC airport |
I spent the first couple days hanging with the fam in Wisconsin, swimming in the lake, and just enjoying the freedom of walking on the grass barefoot without stepping on any garbage or needles.
Had a chance to see my dogs, including 4-lb Pomshit (Pomeranian-Shitzu) "Hazel".
 |
| Hazel & Steve |
We drove out to Madison to see the cousins at the old Reynolds' Lakehouse before getting on a party bus to see the Madison Mallards play ball for the combined Bachelor/Bachelorette party celebrating the soon to be married, Kasey Coatta and Nate Johnson.
 |
| The Reynolds cottage |
 |
| Aunt Jane |
 |
| Sadie thrilled to see me |
 |
| Ahh the childhood memories |
 |
| The stable across the street from Grandma Reynolds' place |
 |
| Headed for the Duck Pond |
 |
| Ben "All you can Drink"ing |
 |
| Me with the Happy couple |
 |
| Hanging with Kelly & Uncle Buzz |
We awoke early, ate some breakfast, and then Ben and I were off to Bachelor Party #2 in Minnesota to cheer on our friend's upcoming wedding.
 |
| The Cabin |
 |
| The Lucky Guy |
 |
| Actual police officer, not a stripper |
One of them was handled responsibly and allowed people to have fun in a great atmosphere.
The other was a continual contest of gross-out humor conducted by chimpanzees, "But hey! It's a Bachelor Party, these things have to be expected!"
If that makes you feel better.
===============MEANWHILE BACK IN LA===============
After the trip home, batteries recharged, I was ready to return to LA.
Steph and I were invited to hit up some Karaoke Happy Fun Time in Korea Town with some friends.
A wise decision indeed.
We followed the directions 3 miles down Wilshire, parked on the street, up an elevator, and were instantly transported to Asia.
We approached the hip Korean gal behind the desk who's giggles summoned a bubbly Korean guy with insane hair to appear from the back room. He led us down a narrow corridor past various numbered doors and blackened windows. He paused at door number 8 and opened the door. Inside we found our friends belting out some tunes from a thick binder of music.
The room was decked out with laser lights and the two TVs played crazy music videos the whole time.
It was awesome, A true LA experience.
 |
| The Giblins laying down an "A HA" duet |
 |
| I went with a number by Queen |
Friday was a Big Big Day, Stephanie turned 23! We celebrated by going to Hollywood's Oldest Italian Restaurant, Miceli's.
The Restaurant included all the charm you can expect from an Old Italian Place, topped off with live music and singing waiters.
Looking forward, Steph's parents will be coming to town soon, it will be great to see them. I can't believe it's been Three months since I saw them last. Crazy!
Again, thanks for the prayers about the upcoming job hunt.
I've considered setting up a booth on Santa Monica Blvd, like the advice booth from Charlie Brown, where I could hand out resumes to people alongside some of the panhandlers there. We'll see how desperate things get.
Till next time!
Prayers are active. Something will come along. It was great, as always, to spend time with you. Go visit Ms. Adler, she may need a waiter. No cougars there. Love to you and Steph, Mom
ReplyDeleteMake up some merch! I'd buy it. Glad you made it back safe. So good to see you & we'll be praying for your next gig (whatever it may be)!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog Dan! I can't help but think of Michigan whenever I hear "Boombas" (no matter what context)!
ReplyDelete